The Value of Every Life

Paul Etterling has a story to tell and believes in the power of sharing.

A pastor in Westerville, Ohio, Paul and his wife, Frances, were nearly six months into the pregnancy of their second child when they were faced with the news every parent fears. They were told their unborn son had anencephaly and would likely die shortly after birth. Now, three years later, Paul Etterling has shared their journey in his book, Genuine Faith and the Test of Love.

Struggling to take the news in and feeling the pain and fear that come with such a diagnosis, the Etterlings sought counsel from family, friends, and ultimately, their church pastor. After taking some needed time to weigh the diagnosis and the prognosis, the Etterlings knew they needed to care for their son as long as they were allowed to and see his life as a gift.

However, their doctor didn’t share their convictions. At their appointment, the Etterlings were shocked to hear their doctor ask, “Why go through the pain of pregnancy and delivery to profit nothing?” Stunned, the Etterlings were fervently urged to terminate their pregnancy and end their young son’s life.

Unfortunately, the Etterlings had come face to face with one of the most disturbing mentalities of our time....perceiving living beings in terms of profit or loss. Is a disabled unborn child seen as a loss to his or her family? Is a child born into an impoverished family a loss or drain on society? Is a terminally ill individual seen as a loss to their community and family? Are living embryos otherwise frozen or discarded seen as a loss or will destroying them profit the medical community? Is a female child a loss born into a county suffocated by gender and population control? These are some of the questions we all face. And the answers to these questions will contribute to the strength of our nation. Engaging this culture with a positive influence may mean we need to reach beyond our prolife community and build relationships and make connections with those that do not share our belief in the sanctity of all life.

Paul and Frances overcame many odds and confronted people worried they wouldn’t be able to withstand the pain of losing an infant child. Ultimately, they triumphed and were blessed beyond our human understanding. Reflecting back on this experience, Paul feels the lessons he and his wife learned about the value of life at every stage and in every condition were something he wanted to share with others...especially with those women facing similar circumstances alone. For, while Paul and his wife were blessed with a strong faith community, many are not so fortunate. Many women hear this kind of diagnosis alone. Many have no idea that not all medical advice is sound moral practice. But if we can share our stories and walk side by side with women and couples faced with seemingly insurmountable odds, we can begin to change the way society views life at its weakest moments.

In the end, the Etterling’s journey led them to a celebration of life in one of its purest forms. Frances Etterling carried their son, David, to term and in an amazing 22 hours after he came into this world, David peacefully slipped into the Lord’s hands. Paul writes, “We cried as we held this precious life in our arms. There was not enough time in the day to pour out all of the love that we had to give to him. ....Understanding the importance of our time together with this baby, the medical staff made arrangements to allow family and friends to quickly rotate in and out so that they could see, hold and take pictures of the baby while he was still with us. Our doctor, to this day, often tells people that what he saw that evening was a family and their friends who were living in the moment and each moment was a celebration of the gift of life.”

Paul and Frances now approach people in difficult situations with much more compassion. And their compassion has led them to give back and donate 50 percent of all the book’s proceeds to their church and to a Crisis Pregnancy Center in their area. They are also overwhelmed at the support and response they have received from the telling of their story. One woman, struggling with a similar diagnosis writes, “Please tell him that by sharing his son’s story, he changed our perspective on this pregnancy, and it is now much easier to get through the days and try to enjoy it instead of dreading the passing of days, which is what I was previously doing.”

Perhaps we all have a story to tell. A story that will connect with others. Because the greatest victory may very well be the relationships and connections we make one person at a time. By sharing our stories we allow others to witness truth. The truth that every life is valuable, no matter the stage or prognosis. The truth that abortion not only ends a life; it stops a story being told...a story that may have the power to make a connection and save a life.

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