“Hurry Up, and Die” by Patricia Menken, Special to the RLM News

What message are we sending to those who need us most?

As a caregiver of nursing home residents for more than six years, I have often heard the sentiment expressed of wishing that the loved one would “hurry up, and die.” Although not always put quite so bluntly, the desire to have it “over with” is strong. From family and friends to nurses and housekeepers, when the one about to die is still hanging on, there’s just something about getting to the end for which we all long and hope.
Getting to the end – making it through the ordeal of watching a loved one die – generates a different set of feelings for everyone. From anguish and despair to relief and even joy, with all the wide jumble of emotions in-between, when death finally does arrive, a certain end has been reached. And for those who watched their loved one suffer, that end is never a time when we should hurry up the progression of death by bringing it about deliberately. That would only turn our friend into an unpredictable, uncontrollable enemy.

The unpredictable, uncontrollable enemy of all of us, but especially of the elderly, disabled, and frail, is death at the hand of doctors. The idea that physician-assisted suicide can be manipulated for good and compassion is an underhanded, frightening philosophy. Physician-assisted suicide is no less than the unlawful killing of an innocent person. As a Christian living in America, I uphold our values which stress freedom of religion and speech to each and every one of us without fear of discrimination. But also, as a Christian living in America, I deplore our way of life which applauds the freedom to kill in the name of individual rights and civil liberties.

The freedom to kill someone, even if that someone is dying and suffering from a multitude of health problems, is a ploy cleverly crafted by our biggest enemy ever. Since I have never personally experienced pain greater than a couple bumps on the head or a little water in my knee, I can’t imagine the intolerable misery that some must go through. Even in the patients’ bedrooms where I’ve worked, where I have helped to reposition a weary body, moisten a dried pair of lips, or cool down a hot forehead, even then I couldn’t identify with them and their hurt. But what I do know is that Jesus can. Jesus can empathize with all who suffer pain and agony because Jesus suffered death on a cross. And greater still is the promise from God to give us everything we need for life from his divine power.

God promises to give us everything we need for life, including what we need to live out the last weeks, days and hours of our lives. The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, and the Lord is in control of it all. In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. (Job 12:10). What a wondrous security to know that my own life and every breath I take, including my last, is in His hands!

The false notion that we have the right to speed up that process, to ask a doctor to assist in the ending of our lives, is a notion that I hope will hurry up, and die

 

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